me at 14: aka my new year’s reflection & resolutions

me at 14: aka my new year’s reflection & resolutions

so. i’m gradually getting closer and closer to the big one-five! halfway to thirty, anyone? considering that my friends are all pretty much 15 or 16 already, no one seems to understand the weird limbo i’m in right now – 14 seems awfully young (i mean so does 15), but do i want to let go of my youth? after all, everything you accomplish seems more exciting and worthy the younger you are. i can’t believe i’ve been wasting my last months as a 14-year-old on SCHOOL. drifting aimlessly through mounds of schoolwork and mundane day-to-day interactions, subconsciously assimilating… ah, isn’t ignorance bliss? anyway, i need to process this shit SOMEWHERE, so here goes.

2018 happenings:

  • turned 14. holy shit. i was 13 for a little over a week at the beginning of this year. holy shit. on to bigger realizations! (i hate setting the bar high but i’m trying to be more of a goal-oriented, ambitious person? i really am the antithesis of a capricorn wow)
  • got even more into frank ocean (holy shit blonde came out in 2016 but god there’s more and more layers and more and more chills every time i listen); i listened to a LOT of good music this year tbh
  • officially became a ~runner~ through joining long distance track & field in the spring (lol do i think i deserve an award? do i think i deserve an award? YES. this shit is painful and i’m slow but here i am anyway! don’t worry, my coach always hands out participation diplomas even though i get injured every season)
    • before this, i ran a 10k in oct. 2017 without any prior exercise/training and that was sheer pain… can’t tell if it deterred me from more running or not?
  • finished freshman year…. 1/4 of high school! crazy and also i didn’t do much?
  • summer: went to france with family (paris was beautiful, so was NW france!), went to culture camp in china and made friends! also rode horses in inner mongolia with 晓琴阿姨!
  • started sophomore year with 3 APs and all honors (not counting religion bleh) & ran cross country (got injured AGAIN but i ran in golden gate park!)
  • saw arcade fire without ever knowing any of their music; fell in love with berkeley, california
  • MOVED HOUSES!
  • went to homecoming and had a good time! my toe got stomped on, though!
  • saw boygenius, the 3 loves of my life, LIVE when i never thought it would actually be possible
  • made a neighbor friend, karen (who paid me $100 to feed birds?)
  • my review of the good place got published in the new york times!
  • actually, why not? heres my 2018 resolutions from this past new years (unabridged bc i’m that #cool):
    1. don’t be a fatass
    1. be ur best self
    1. be healthy & move!
    1. embody love & happiness
    1. stop caring about things that don’t matter
  • well well well. guess 1/1/18 me was a lil preachy bitch huh. but she really did think of vague ideas that i’m always gonna be pushing for!
  • 2019 resolutions
    • be WHOLESOME and radiant to everyone around you and yourself
    • learn knitting/sewing/embroidery/painting
    • make zines! collage! decoupage!
    • write poetry/screenplays/songs more
    • work towards making a film & getting better at photography
    • do krav maga & self defense & get stronger!
    • go back to dance class? or just dance yourself at home!
    • give gifts on birthdays. it means a lot. (ok ur bad at gift giving but get BETTER? also effort counts)
    • contribute to/start clubs at school
    • FINALLY get your balcony garden going
    • write more on this blog!
    • memorize 3 20+ line poems
    • get job or internship experience!
    • driver’s ed / driving permit
    • paint with bob ross
    • avoid lice
    • appearances don’t matter and PLEASE STOP CARING WHAT PEOPLE THINK. it might hurt in the moment but that shit will be so unbelievably petty in the grand scheme of your LIFE. life is so majestic and big and wonderful and the possibilities are endless (esp since you are relatively privileged)! you don’t need negativity and they are not worth your time or emotions.
    • make shit happen if it hasn’t happened.
    • be someone you’d truly be proud to be.
    • don’t halfass!!!!!!!!!

i truly want to work on being more genuine and sincere in everything i do. i think i halfass, or do the bare minimum, for a lot of areas in life and it shows. i keep on waiting for a catalyst to change my life as if THAT’S what i’m missing, as if when it comes i’ll be transformed into someone cool and different and better. my mom always said “why do people heat their environment when they can just heat themselves with wearing more clothes?” well, you get the idea. change starts within yourself, and i can’t rely on something happening to me for that. i stay too much within my comfort zone and i really feel like while to some extent this is safe, mostly i need to be comfortable BEING uncomfortable. that’s the only way i’ll grow.

as parks and rec says, “there are two kinds of women in this world. there are women who work hard and stress out about doing the right thing, and then there are women who are cool. you could either be a cleopatra or you could be an eleanor roosevelt. i’d rather be cleopatra.” and with that, i’m not condoning the extremes, but rather a happy balance. i look back on my choices, and often in the moment, i’m internally congratulating myself on the more “tasteful,” conservative, anti-rebellious decision that i’m making. i think to myself, “i’m being wise. these hoes are being stupid.” but really? wise is so fucking boring! and stupidity? not always applicable, but FUN is memorable. fun is what makes life worth living. and it’s not a one-time decision, it’s a subconscious mindset and instinctive lifestyle that i’m completely wired against, but i’m learning to embrace it. i don’t want to become someone else, but who i am right now is kinda a grandma. get past social anxiety and surround yourself with healthy supportive vibes! stop overthinking and analyzing your every shortcoming and instead live in the moment! remedy it NOW instead of stewing over it and not doing anything?

now to move on from self-loathing and overthinking! i’m really into “pursuing” (some might say forcing) artistic ways of expressing myself, and there’s so many different paths. i’m not very good at any of them, which is why i’m trying out so many. i complain, and then people tell me this stuff doesn’t come by with just natural talent. practice makes perfect, and goddammit i’m gonna get BETTER if it kills me. embroidery floss, you ain’t seen nothing yet!

this past year has also made me reconsider a lot of what i used to perceive about myself and my position in life. my family used to never have to worry about money, but now that we bought a new house and haven’t sold the old one (renting out), i’ve had to think about it for the first time. i’ve also been stressing about college; extracurriculars, internships, jobs, summer programs are all freaking me out because money and also how i’ve accomplished zilch and am uncreative. wait not gonna hate myself i’m radiating POSITIVITY now. this is hard i’m gonna go do 20 pushups and hold myself accountable (actually did them! it was so hard oh my god) but yeah! i’m going to be motivated to be more present and focused and FULL-ass everything. let’s see how long this lasts, but i have a feeling i’m gonna live my best life and turn things around 😉 i have faith in god and the universe and whatever higher power out there that things will turn out alright. after all, others’ success and triumphs should only motivate my personal success, not diminish it. and there are so many more important things in the world than inspecting the flora/fauna of a college. ivy unnecessary 🙂

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gift ideas

gift ideas

because obviously, making this post in time for the holidays is just too USEFUL of me – and i wouldn’t want to be off brand, am i right? anyway, i am going to make a list of ~interesting~ gift ideas from the selection around my room. some, i would actually like to receive; some, i’d rather just keep theoretical (but feel free to make happen)!

jar of birdseed

jar of birdseed from my retired neighbor, 12/31/18

FEED THOSE BIRDS. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. take the risk of bird poop, and feed those starving little birds. bonus: get a bird book so they can identify the species that come peck!

idea: stalk through DIY blogs!

example tutorial from vintage revivals!

i know, i know, i shouldn’t be redirecting my readers to go read OTHER blogs (stay on mine, it’s fabulous!) but in this area, i think it’s best to leave it to the professionals. my favorite resource in the past has been rookie mag, but this teen-centric site is sadly going down soon 😦 i’ve got a lot of nostalgia mixed up with this publication and we’re all feeling bereft. however, there are resources for DIY projects all over the internet! some are joann’s arts & crafts, as well as design sponge and vintage revivals! pls pls pls rec me any of your favorite crafts/DIY pages, because i’m always looking for more projects (the more unique + creative + DOABLE, the better)!

garden book

my lovely neighbor karen brought this over for me :”)

you know i’m all about that DIY, and if you have a retired neighbor, this is perfect! also if you’ve noticed their yard is in dire need of some care – this is kind of an aggressive hint (unless they’re oblivious, then i guess this is subtle)! when asked why, i’d suggest the reply, “well, i saw this help book and i thought of you!” then cast a fake pitying, but mostly strongly suggesting, glance over at their yard.

used paint palette

my leftover dried acrylic paints from yesterday’s solo art therapy session

doesn’t matter if you’re bad at painting! you really don’t need to even paint! of course, if you’re like me, you can paint something then realize how bad it turned out and then decide the palette itself is probably prettier…. it’s a work in progress my friend!

gift bags

these are from target. yes, overpriced. i took one for the team.

to help THEM give gifts to other people! who wants to BUY these things when they’re surprisingly overpriced for (decorative) paper bags? they’ll be on top of their regifting game (even if the first gift is MEANT to be for gifting)

participatory medal

from my santa run 5k in the rain

so passive aggressive, but if they’re a medal collector, you’ve got a winner! bonus tips if the medal was one of your own from an outlandish event that you told no one about

mod podge

mod podge from amazon.com! (or make your own with glue and water?)

who does arts & crafts without mod podge? further more, who has mod podge and DOESN’T DO ARTS & CRAFTS? if they do own mod podge and manage to refrain from this delightful pastime, that is simply sacrilege and i do not want to know them ever. what a waste of a beautifully versatile water-based glue product….. therefore, if you gift mod podge, they are basically obligated to start arts-and-craftsing and then you will become best buds and bond over making decoupage projects. BOOM!

lint roller

this is a very old lint roller but i LOVE HER TO DEATH we’ve got history

tbh i feel like lint roller companies (lint pic-up featured) should sponsor me wow. their product hasn’t really been buzzed about lately at all, especially since those of us with black clothes & pets by now have mostly either a) obtained lint rollers or b) learned to suck it up and live with it because there are BIGGER PROBLEMS IN THIS WORLD. but also lint rollers make our first world problems a little less heavy. the sheer indignity of having fur on one’s clothing. *shudders*

daisy by marc jacobs

oh my god…. ignore my gross cuticles PLEASE

ok admitted this looks like a flex but it’s really not lmao my mom’s friend gifted me a trial size pack and these little designer perfumes are adorable!!!!!! their ad campaign was really alluring (kaia gerber, how dare you look like That) but i mean i KNEW daisy would not transform me into a sylph-like faery moodily billowing in a golden field somewhere… still doesn’t hurt to have nice things though?

alternatives: gift packages from sephora (check out their style section), little cute glass containers filled with flower petals, essential oils, urban outfitters $10-20 lifestyle section, small trinkets, jewelry (cute bracelets all over etsy!), old perfume/anything stylish from garage sales/thrift shops

[insert year] planner

if you want this, contact me & pay for shipping like i’ll literally give it to you for free it’s new!

i mean this one goes without saying, because it’s actually PRACTICAL. imagine that! get one at any random retail shop and there will be lots of designs to choose from and you may be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of choices but IT’S OK. none of them will completely be worthy of falling in love with, but they’re all disgustingly pretty so you can practically close your eyes and blindly choose at this point?

muscle roller

my friend lost my first roller so she bought me this one

this will be a lifesaver to your athlete friend, your couch potato friend, really anyone that gets sore muscles!

face masks

the ones pictured aren’t even good face masks probably, so go out and explore the options!

DIY them, buy them, everyone loves a skin pump-me-up! especially in winter when the air is cold and dry…. good skin really helps everything!

music stand but actually it’s osmosis

this is more of a concept that for some, requires a lot of convincing??? peep my flute sheet music!

OSMOSIS your friend the genius of a thousand musicians so they don’t have to practice their instrument over the holidays… trust me this is lowkey hell and unless they’re very avid about their instrument, holiday spirit will be DIMMED. so yeah. give them the gift of stopping their worries about this typa struggle!

candles, soaps, empty lemonade bottle

described from left to right

i acquired this DELICIOUS smelling cantaloupe-scented candle (on the very left) from the bee natural stand at the philadelphia reading terminal market and i have no regrets it smells AMAZING. the green flowery soap was a gift from my friend, who got it from her soap lady bernadette. hubert’s lemonade bottle – everyone loves that aesthetic, and now your friend can fill it with whatever they want! the sparkly cork one was a gift from my friend and the “too glam to give a damn” makes a STATEMENT. find one at a marshall’s near you! flea markets and boutiques in cities are also good places to find cute businesses that sell these ideas.

windowsill decor

can we all just be this happy?

ok, just look at her. LOOK. she’s really living her best life, and she kinda rubs it in your face. but still, we like to keep her around to embody that ideal ~vibe~. also the string legs are adorable!

sponge

i don’t know why this was in my room but it made the list so here it is! ha

and with that, this list has come to an end. happy 2019, folks!

mitski

mitski

mitski
don’t we just love an icon?

sigh. what is it with me & constantly wanting to write about artists the day they’re performing in my area but i can’t go???? it’s TRAGIC because every concert is such a fucking amazing experience & they’re my happy place, ESPECIALLY if i LOVE the artist & their music & i have a special connection. last month i went to an arcade fire concert knowing zero (0) of their songs and still had a fucking amazing time @ the greek theater in berkeley! (side note: my parents have wanted me to go to UC Berkeley since forever, i’ve never wanted to go bc i know i won’t get in, but now i want to apply because it’s so BEAUTIFUL!) so basically i’m missing out on so many concerts from artists that literally hold such special places in my heart. the subject of this post, mitski, is no different!

ok so there’s lots of mitski fans out there who can probably psychoanalyze every one of her songs & their lyrics (her lyrics are so brilliant/clever/complex), but sadly i’m probably not one of them. basically, if you don’t know her, she’s notorious among those that know her (it’s a very certain type of people…. awk but ok lmao) as basically depression music but also I AM MY OWN WOMAN music but also OH GOD I’M SO FUCKING ALONE PLS CRY W ME music….

mitski tweet

if you follow her twitter, you’ll probably notice how expressive and need i say it, “quirky.” just comes with the indie artist vibe, yo. ok ignore this cringe but basically she encapsulates the wisdom but also relatability that comes with the emotions that she’s pouring out into her music! mitski is such a precious soul & i love her to death we must protect her FOREVER. i could literally just have a blog dedicated to her tweets / lyrics / life decisions. (she liked one of my tweets on twitter once…. the prerogative to make a mitski blog is ALREADY THERE my friends)

anyway, i occasionally fall down a whole of reading articles and interviews and as much insight into someone’s life as possible and that just happened for me about mitski. i find artists, especially musicians, so fascinating and honestly they’re really what inspires me that there’s more to life than the monotony of my current one as a high schooler. not to go off onto a tangent here, but i’m glad i’m at the intersection of the internet/venting my ideas/my interests!

ANYWAY. her music is fucking amazing and i could go on forever about my own interpretations of her lyrics (actual poetry), but i’ll just point out one song of hers that means so much to me: “last words of a shooting star.” sure, there are more lyrically resonant or sonically brave songs, but this one has such nostalgic value for me because it got me through a really weird time in my life?? it really just calmed me down when i had really bad anxiety, and mitski’s eternally reassuring voice, even when singing about morbid thoughts like “I always wanted to die clean and pretty / But I’d be too busy on working days,” really did me wonders. also, hope! she sings about her reality, and the way love ties into it. many of her songs are love songs, but in the weirdest, unpredictable ways.

and while my dreams

made music in the night

carefully,

i was going to live

kinda like that vibe of “life is so bad i wanna die rn but i mean….. slight possibility of it getting better maybe? but more likely not but we’re out here doing our best anyway”. also add in a dash of impressively sardonically clever wit & amazing expressions of really big themes in life? bam! you’ve got the deep thoughts & existential crises that are about to go with the icon that is mitski. oh, you can’t forget the rock & roll + indie folk too. my favorite genres ngl!

ALSO: a lowkey mindblowing realization that i had just now after reading a couple more reviews of mitski: “be the cowboy” parallels the ethos of my other favorite band “boygenius” that i’m about to talk about later! great minds think alike, and badass women are always gonna mindfucking be on top of it. recognizing the oppressive white male patriarchy & wrly poking fun at it but also pissed as fuck & using the enemy’s tactics for own advantages??? CHECK! ugh. i stan queens.

“bloom” by troye sivan: a review

“bloom” by troye sivan: a review

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“bloom” by troye sivan. out 8.31.2018.

guys guys GUYS i’m so excited!!!!!! the album “bloom” by troye sivan came out aug. 31 and we all KNEW it was gonna be fucking amazing!!!!!! i’m finally reviewing it & adding in my lil article here:

In an unabashed display of self love and queer identity, Troye Sivan is a marvel to behold as he truly “blooms” on his sophomore album. A fan favorite ever since his first album “Blue Neighborhood,” his new collection of pop perfection reminds us all why he is such a standout star. As he navigates first times in young love, his easy, lilting voice passionately expresses his feelings with every catchy beat and tune. My personal favorite track, “Animal,” is a sonically stunning ode to his love (“Boy, I’ll die to care for you / You’re mine, mine, mine, tell me who do I owe that to?”), filled with Frank Ocean-esque influences and a thoughtful 18 seconds of silence to start off. Whether it be achingly lovely ballads or dance pop anthems with Ariana Grande, Sivan displays his wide array of songwriting and production talents. He deftly maneuvers through upbeat, catchy love songs such as “Lucky Strike” and also manages to heart-wrenchingly croon out piano ballads like “Postcard”. On top of Sivan’s heartfelt reflections on themes of love and loss, he is at the forefront of mainstream artists representing the LGBTQ+ and is aware of how lucky he is to have the ability to share “he” gendered songs while others are still striving to come out. Troye Sivan’s “Bloom” is a deeply personal album of self growth amidst heartbreak and experiences fueled by passion and curiosity, evoking a clear image of blooming in love and springtime. Don’t disregard him as just another Tumblr icon — with his massive talent and incredibly magnetic stardom, Troye Sivan is so worth listening to.

so i wrote that for my school newspaper (excuse my unedited, amateur writing lol), and ended up switching to the topic of boygenius (because they’re fucking cool as fuck and the issue was published october so troye would be a lil dated), but nevertheless, it’s here now!!!!! honestly we LOVE a woke king! also the pop perfection + super danceable vibes don’t hurt 😉 i know my article sounds a bit formal, so here are my less scholarly (yeah i hate being reminded of school just as much as you), more down-to-earth track-by-track thoughts.

1. seventeen

  • first of all, what an incredible opening track ugh i stan a legend
  • the PRODUCTION on this. lowkey super into the idea of music editing shit but also i’m very NOT tech-savvy??? but u can so tell the quality & detail that went into this entire album
  • also kinda iffy about troye’s 17 y/o sexual exploits with an older “man” (as opposed to him still being a boy)…. guess he’s okay with it tho???
  • this song is overall very chill / positive cause this boy is OWNING his sexuality and coming-of-age (altho he’s also like 22 so that’s been going on for years)

2. my my my!

  • honestly one of the biggest bops on this album! hated it at first but i kept listening and it’s so fucking good! i attribute the initial hesitation to my reluctance to like most pop music (esp since i didn’t love blue neighborhood) & i have ascended past this judgment! i am a fairy butterfly swathed in rainbows #sorrynotsorry
  • again so fucking catchy i will never stop hating the fact that i missed the concert for this because i literally danced in my room for months to this song and memorized all the lyrics & didn’t see him do this live UGH

3. the good side

  • this song was written for the indie-folk fans out there (ME!) & it’s so sad which i’m so here for (my music taste has been reviewed as “gives me depression” but i’m really about embracing those inner emotions yaknow)
  • the little instrument riff in the refrain/chorus whatever is so kooky & all the background stuff is so hauntingly lovely… acoustic guitar is the loml
  • troye’s voice in this is ANGELIC & really adds to the sadness
  • sidenote: what kinda ruined my initial love of this song is when my friend told me that apparently it’s super condescending to connor franta in some youtuber drama? if you ignore that we’re good

4. bloom

  • this one’s the most overtly sexual song i’ve heard in a while….
  • “progressing to the motor, & boy i’ll meet u right there, we’ll ride the rollercoast, i’ve been saving this for you”
    • ok tbh all the lyrics are super sexual & that’s just so weird because i really associate troye with my 7th grade tumblr phase???
  • but also worth it because it’s such a bop!

5. postcard (ft. gordi)

  • soooo this one is gonna cause some tears whether you like it or not (trust me we love it haha if you’re not for a good cry-sesh, why are u even here? lol)
  • the PIANO BALLAD ugh it tugs at my heartstrings every time and honestly the lyrics are so raw & emotional! u can tell it’s super personal to troye and i just LOVE the melody and the harmonies that gordi adds

6. dance to this (ft. ariana grande)

  • ARIANA MY QUEEN
  • this single came out over the summer & tbh i’m so fucking disappointed i didn’t find it till the album i could’ve been jamming for MONTHS more
  • king & queen of pop ugh it’s so fuckin catchy & GROOVY
  • also see: me dancing around my room all the time
  • the little shimmy beat & drums on this track are so iconic

7. plum

  • this album is full of bangers & plum does NOT disappoint
  • “coming over me, like bitter tangerine, like sirens in the street” damn this wording?? not completely sure what’s going on in this song but so many of the lyrics are REALLY GOOD
  • “even the sweetest plum has only got so long” wise words & a catchy hook!
  • the little riffs in the chorus have been stuck in my head for too long but it’s ok bc it’s troye!
  • also i love the bridge a LOT

8. what a heavenly way to die

  • another SLOW one & the opening warbly piano tones are to die for…. nostalgia, anyone?
  • another very personal song of troye’s heartbreakingly expressed by his magical voice it’s so crackly but SMOOTH at the same time?? no words to describe except LISTEN TO IT
  • “forever is in your eyes, but forever ain’t half the time i wanna spend with you” what a poetic god

9. lucky strike

  • “MY BOY LIKE A QUEEN” is another line i thought i’d be shouting out at his concert tbh
  • and then it leads to a satisfying as fuck beat drop and SUCH a danceable, extremely catchy chorus
    • i’m listening to the chorus right now and my shoulders are involuntarily grooving oops i gtg go take a dance break
  • “i wanna tiptoe thru your bliss boy” if the gay legend hasn’t been present before, he sure is now!!!!!!

10. animal

  • the “thoughtful 18 secs of silence” has fucked me over a couple times but the wait is SO WORTH IT
  • such a beautiful song to end the album with…. :”) sonically stunning AND lyrically amazing i feel all the emotions and all the tears well up wow this hits me
  • besides the sparse instrumentation (ok fine the choruses are pretty full but the verses aren’t), the last third of the song has fucking cool beats & such crazy production???
    • @ 2:39 there’s a beat drop and then the outro of the song has some WILD sounds involved… 4:06 is the one i literally wait for the whole song to build up to!
    • thanks to the fader for notifying me bc that was cool as fuck (also whoever writes the newsletter there is my fav person & is definitely some level of who i aspire to be one day lmao)

soooo all in all i love this album a lot & i have massive amounts of respect for troye sivan as an artist, performer, AND person. i’ve definitely too enthusiastically over-listened to the album now (thanks to the lack of actually good pop albums out there but on that note i am def reviewing all my faves & there are more than 3!). i hope u don’t hate me for reviewing a ton of masterpiece albums from like years ago bc that shit is so good! i could literally go on about all my music feelings/opinions FOREVER. it’s ok i’m on the blogging grind NOW & better late than never!

i will prob only be “reviewing” or writing about a) artists/films/songs/books/media that i REALLY LOVE & want to share over-enthusiastically about, b) stuff i looked forward with the highest expectations but didn’t end up expecting the outcome, or c) stuff going on i really want to TALK about & discuss. i really want people to be reading this (maybe not irl people tho), and spreading awareness is so important.

(if anyone actually reads this) what are your feelings on troye?

introduction to me!

introduction to me!

hey guys i’m helen! i’ve got a lot to say & i love rambling on about it. i’m a sophomore in high school and honestly my classes are killing me but today i happened to finish homework at 8:45 (shocking) and decided to play around with this. soooo here goes!

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me in france!

before i get started, let me tell you: i had an extreme tumblr phase in 7th grade in which i was super into book blogs & the blogosphere (i feel like we all collectively died off). fast-forwarding through a lot of painfully cringey blog posts (“book reviews”), here i am! i never thought i’d return, but i’m glad i did. i hope i can vent here occasionally and that it doesn’t take too much time from my real life. it’s gonna be hard figuring out what parts of my life to leave out because privacy issues lol (even though i wanna share it alllllll).

some things i love:

  • brooklyn 99 (jake peralta: loml)
    • literally hands down the BEST show. i can’t rave about it enough. i’m gonna have to make a post about it and i’m gonna do research to properly educate y’all and spread the word
  • traveling (my dream is to backpack for weeks with friends)
    • europe, costa rica, really anywhere far & beautiful & rich with culture!
  • photography (iphone or canon rebel t6)
    • not to be cliche but i honestly love taking pictures & documenting my experiences… i’m not sure how people do this for a living but who am i to judge i only WISH
  • music (literally if i lost my spotify & my playlists i would die)
  • concerts (usually indie – they’re literally my happy place but my parents barely let me bc they’re strict)
    • fun fact! i’m supposed to be at the nov. 1st troye sivan bloom tour (honestly such an amazing album i’m writing a review) concert right now but i’m NOT because my mom found out it was a school night…. love that for me
  • writing (soooo it def depends on the mood)
    • school essays make me want cry/vomit/cry
    • but all in all i love writing & READING & words are just so fucking powerful/amazing/world-changing
    • fell in love with cringey fangirling book blogs in 2015-16, but still in love with reading articles! i stalk through NYT & the guardian & pitchfork etc. etc. ALL THE TIME bc i’m in love with the writing & the descriptions of whatever they’re writing about… i want to be like that someday but journalism is dying
    • i promise you i only sound this childish because i’m not tryna make it all sophisticated because that’s so much WORK and i’m just chillin…. it’s my free time & i’ll do what i want!
    • also i wrote some articles for my school newspaper that didn’t make the cut sooooo kinda inspired me to make this blog so i can put them here??
      • also. podcasts. but in blog form. get it.
  • films (at least i’m a wannabe i’m a kid of the 2000s don’t expect me to be cultured)
    • also depends on the mood bc my attention span is so tiny (i still haven’t watched stranger things bc i keep getting bored by the first 2 minutes)
    • letterboxd reviews (esp the joke ones) are hilarious
    • my biggest reach job is movie director/screenwriter/cinematographer! considering i barely know how photography is a real job, i’m REALLY reaching but i feel like i could contribute a lot to the movie industry with my creations & ideas?? i’m so unsure and it’s not because im afraid to be confident but mostly because i am so miserable at everything hahahahhaha

anyway, thanks for hearing me out & i’ll update more later! xox luvers